I know everybody always says that the best way to kill a conversation is to start talking about religion, politics, or the weather. But I have a topic in mind that I feel needs discussing. Spring.
What the heezy is up with this season? Is it hot or is it cold? Is it sunny or is it rainy? Is this North Carolina or the Land of Oz? Seriously. I checked weather.com one day last week and their little blurb read: "High of 78. Partly cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms. Sleet, hail, and possible tornadoes. Chance of precipitation 40%" What does that even mean?! Not to mention that the day I am referring to ended up being 80 degrees, bright sunshine, and had about a dozen tornadoes.
I understand that there are some people that find this personality disorder exciting. I have friends who have built their entire wardrobes around the fact that this time of year they will have to wear a cardigan over whatever outfit they choose "in case it's chilly." But not me. This season makes me cranky. The pollen makes everyone sick, the inability to set the thermostat to one temperature makes everyone sick, the 100% chance that at some point you will be caught without an umbrella in a torrential downpour because five minutes before it was perfectly sunny, be soaking wet, and then walk into a building that is blasting the AC because the high for the day was 85, makes everyone sick.
So pretty flowers, newly opened swimming pool, and cute sundresses at Target, you will not be able to fool me into appreciating this time of year. Boo you Spring and your bi-polar trickery. You are just a less-cool version of Summer and I do not like you.
And what's the best part about Spring being over? Why, the Fun Fourth of course. Make sure you are there to celebrate with me!